War Surplus
by NovaFloresca
Summary: With the Abyssal Fleet seemingly vanquished the question becomes, how best to adapt the girls to civilian life? The answer chosen by Fleet Command is an adoption program, but both the girls who are to be "mothballed" in this way and their adopters just might find that winning the peace will be harder than winning the war.
1. Paperwork and Other Matters

**Section 1 : Paperwork and Other Matters of Life and Death**

"_If this booklet has been presented to you, congratulations! You have been chosen by lot to participate in the Peacetime Transition Committee's Shipgirl Adoption Program. Please report to the PTC office at Maizuru Naval Base and have the following documents ready: State ID or other official credentials, proof of employment, housing . . ."_

* * *

><p>"Adoption program, huh? With all this stuff they told me to bring, feels like I'm the one being adopted!" To be honest I, Hiroshi Tanaka the amateur historian and professional minion, never expected to be here. When they announced the adoption program, I filled out one of the opt-in cards, but so did everybody in my university class who had housing. It was just one of those things you did, a show of solidarity in wartime, like sorting through the trash one extra time to make sure all the aluminum scrap had made it to the recycling bins. But aside from that, we didn't really <em>think <em>about it. After all, the war with the Abyssal Fleet seemed so far away, it just didn't register. I mean, yeah, the price of food went up, and the Abyssals shot up all the undersea cables, so forget playing any kind of Internet game in real time against anybody anywhere else but Japan, but really, compared to what I had read of previous wars, that didn't seem like much. I mean, if you lived more than half a kilometer inland, the Abyssals couldn't even harm you, unless they could learn to walk on land somehow. I suppose they could, after all, our own shipgirls can walk on land, but if they ever tried it, it never made the news.

"Shipgirls"- such a simple word for such a thoroughly strange concept. When the Abyssal Fleet first attacked, they did so with humanoid weapons, little bigger than a grown man. It was almost comical, until you watched a Chi-class slide up alongside a fishing trawler and throw a handful of torpedoes at it, and then next month's dinner was sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Our scientists figured out the trick and then we began building our own "daughters of the sea", and were able to fight back. I couldn't begin to explain the science behind it, but it seems that whatever it is that gives the girls life also translates their fighting spirit into actual strength. Our girls wear the names of old, honored vessels, and somehow they can draw upon the power of their namesakes. I would suppose that wherever the Abyssal ships come from, they do the same thing, but outside of taunts and insults, the two sides have never spoken as far as we civilians know, so there's no way to tell.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand . . . honestly, Maizuru isn't much to look at, more like a boarding school than what I would expect for a naval base. But then, the shipgirls are more girl than ship, I suppose you couldn't really tie them up along a pier. But now is not the time to focus on immaterial things. I paused for a moment with my hand on the door. The situation was about to get real. Well either that, or I was going to learn I was the target of the world's most elaborate prank, not sure which would be worse. Here goes nothing . . .

* * *

><p>Of course, if I had been thinking clearly, I would have expected this outcome. A bureaucracy is a bureaucracy, after all, even when they're calling upon your sense of duty to do them a favor. After turning over my papers to a girl who had been seated at a big desk in the room I was directed to, I was told to wait while she checked things over. Half an hour later, and I'm still sitting here, and she hasn't told me anything, or even returned to the desk. At least it's a nice waiting room, with decently upholstered chairs and tea service, but nothing to read. I wonder if that girl was a shipgirl- she looked pretty normal. But then again, without her armaments installed, how would you tell a shipgirl apart from a normal human anyhow?<p>

A glance at the clock shows that 34 minutes have passed since I first arrived in this room. Every time I go to refill my tea or add sugar I look again to be sure of the time. Unfortunately, that seems to be every minute or so. There's nothing to do here. Is this some kind of test? "You must be _this_ patient to enter the program", that sort of thing? Maybe I'm just getting paranoid. If I turned out to be unsuitable for the job, they would have told me to go home, right? Right?

"The administrator will see you now," called out the desk girl, having reappeared when I wasn't looking. The sudden noise was enough to nearly scare me out of my skin, but somehow I managed not to throw tea all over myself or the immediate surroundings. "Sorry, I just had to," the girl giggled as I steadied myself. "Have to keep my sneak-attacking skills sharp somehow." I gave the girl a dubious look, and felt my eyebrows raise even further as she opened her uniform jacket, but then I saw she was wearing a standard-issue swimsuit beneath it, emblazoned with the tag "I-401", and things came together.

"Ahh, submarine corps, is it?" I asked, feeling stupid immediately afterward. Who else would wear a swimsuit with a hull number on it?

"That's right, Hiroshi-san!" the girl replied, which must have caused me to outwardly flinch once more, because it drew giggles from the girl again. And then I felt like an idiot for a third time- she was just looking at my ID and my application papers, _of course_ she knew my name. "You can call me Shioi if you like."

"That's pretty informal, isn't it? Er, Shioi-san?"

"Well, maybe, but we don't really have surnames. At first, we tried using the names of the dockyards where we were born, but that didn't work too well. Having a dozen girls show up when you call 'Sasebo, please report to the Administrator' was hilarious, but not particularly useful. Speaking of that, you should probably get in there- our Administrator doesn't suffer fools or tardiness lightly."

I wanted to reply, but the only thing that came to mind was "then what am I doing here?", which would probably make Shioi laugh again, but wasn't particularly useful. Instead, I gave her a quick nod and headed for the office proper, trying to will away the feeling of impending doom.

* * *

><p>The office was pretty plain, as things went, with a large and sturdy oak desk in the middle of the room and a couple of comfortable-looking chairs across from it. Tea service and a couch were pressed back against one wall and the opposite wall was taken up by a large window looking out over the sea. Overall, there were very few decorations in the room, but I could understand that, for no amount of decoration could hope to draw attention away from the woman behind the desk. She was tall and possessed a powerful build, with deeply tanned skin and blonde hair teased into wolf's-ears giving her an exotic look. A samurai's sarashi was the only thing covering her ample chest, which would have drawn my gaze in an unfortunate way if I wasn't already being held in place by her glaring red eyes.<p>

"You're late. I would ask why you kept me, Musashi, waiting." There was a calm politeness to her words that was somehow more terrifying than if she had raised her voice in anger, and I found myself stammering for a minute. Finally, I made a bow of apology, mainly to break eye contact and try to guard myself from her overwhelming presence.

"My apologies, Musashi-san, I was exchanging pleasantries with your secretary and lost track of the time."

"More like Shioi started talking and wouldn't shut up, I bet. I should have expected as much. The 400s were created for a stealth attack on the enemy's heartland, but we never located such a place before the war ended, so Shioi and her sisters never learned firsthand the value of doing one's duty in silence." Musashi shook her head. "But you're not here to listen to Musashi complain about missed opportunities. You're here because of the adoption program."

"I am," I nodded with my reply, trying to keep it from turning into a question. There was a little voice in the back of my head that wanted to argue Shioi's case in the face of Musashi's dismal opinion of the girl, but the more sensible part of my mind was telling that voice to shut up, _just shut up before you get a chance to find out if Musashi-san even needs her guns to blast you into little pieces!_ The friction between these two thoughts was starting to become uncomfortable, and I found myself fidgeting in my seat.

"From what I see of your records, you more than meet the gross requirements of living space, income and the like. That's all well and good, but not really relevant at the moment. The point of this interview will determine whether you are a good fit for the program. We don't want any of our girls stuck in an inappropriate situation, like an obsessive military otaku, or somebody who's only interested in finding out what a shipgirl is like in bed-"

"Then maybe you shouldn't have gift-wrapped your tits," I blurt out. Panic seized my heart in the next moment as Musashi's eyes widened at the barb. My parents always warned me about blurting out things which didn't need to be said, even if they might have been true. _Especially when they're true, those are the worst sort,_ I can hear my father saying in my memories, and now, this bad habit of mine has gotten me killed.

"You would criticize me, Musashi, a super-dreadnaught battleship on her choice of clothing?" Here, in the last moment before my death, a sort of maniacal calm came over me, and I chose to forge ahead with honesty, not that it will save me from getting a brigand's burial in a cesspit. Assuming there's enough left of me to bury.

"W-well, it does draw quite a lot of attention," I stammered out.

"There are exceedingly few people who would dare to talk to one such as myself in such a fashion. It is a quality that will serve you well as an adopter, I think. We shipgirls were built to carry an abundance of self-confidence, as regardless of how we are dressed-" At this point, Musashi put on a slight grin and that was somehow even _more _frightening as she continued, "all of us wear naught but our skin for armor. In this particular situation however, as we begin the transition to a time of peace and work to find our place amongst our countrymen, this aspect of our character may turn out to be something of a hindrance, and so someone with the fortitude to act as a brake upon his adoptee's temper is essential for the success of this operation."

"Wait, you're not going to kill me?"

"No, you've passed with flying colors, Hiroshi." Musashi's grin became just a little bit wider, baring a bit of fang. "Of course, if you had tried to unwrap my 'gifts', I would have broken every bone in your body, but that's another matter. You may come to regret your candor, however; since you seem to have no problem talking back to a super-dreadnaught, I am going to assign to you one of the more high-spirited girls on my list. If you can keep your wits sharp, you'll do fine, but if not, you will find her to be something of a nightmare."

"I-I see. Is there anything else I should know?" I tried not to sound too pathetically relieved at having passed.

"I am certain there are many things you should know, but being able to adapt to conditions as they are presented is part of a soldier's duty. You will learn to do the same, or you will fail."

"I understand," I replied, and bowed deeply, and then I turned and left Musashi's office as quickly as decorum permitted, before she had a chance to change her mind and slay me anyway.

* * *

><p>I was informed to go out front and wait. I expected there were last minute preparations that needed to be taken care of on behalf of the adoptee. I didn't expect, however, for there to be two girls coming out to greet me. Although on closer inspection, I don't think one of the girls expected there to be two of them, either.<p>

"Tenryuu, I'm fine! Really! This isn't like a scouting cruise or a torpedo run, it's a civilian outreach program!"

"I'm well aware of that fact, thanks," replied the second girl, Tenryuu apparently, in a tone of sarcastic disapproval. She seemed to be the elder of the two, although whether that was actually relevant when the shipgirls left the shipyard fully formed was something I couldn't be sure of. Tenryuu had a second set of ears peeking up through her indigo hair, high-tech constructs that seemed to be sensors of a sort, and one eye was covered with a similarly-styled patch. Together, the enhancements gave her a ferocious air, although without the same massive presence as Musashi had. "But it has been my duty to keep you lot safe and secure when sailing into danger, and I don't intend to turn away now."

"Sheesh! I already have to make my weekly check-in calls, what more do you want? Yo, Civvy!" the girl called to me, and now that she wasn't turned to Tenryuu, I could see more than just her profile. The first impression I got was "mini-Musashi"; the girl also had red eyes and the same wolf-ear hairstyle- and it was even blonde as well- but there the resemblance ended. This girl was more petite, and also more girlish- she had the softer features of a teenager, rather than Musashi's adult sharpness. I wondered if there was a rhyme or reason to the apparent ages of the girls, something I should have looked up before jumping into the program, or at least asked during the interview maybe. Then I noticed the girl was staring at me, and I realized she was waiting for a reply.

"Uh, yeah?" I ventured, trying not to look any more the fool than I had to.

"You're not like going to go all weird on me later on, are you?"

"Uh, no- miss, I surely won't." It occurred to me right as I was fumbling for it that I had never been told the girl's name.

"There, you see, everything's going to be fine!"

"When did you join 6th Squadron?" Tenryuu replied, a remark that flew right over my head but apparently wasn't a compliment, considering the way the other girl bristled.

"Hey! What are you trying to say?"

"I believe the implication is that you're naïve and shouldn't be let out of dock without adult supervision." Tenryuu replied, archly.

"Um, I hate to butt in, but isn't that technically what I'm for?" I found myself speaking up without intending to, but hopefully my luck will hold as it did earlier. "Otherwise wouldn't it be the 'shipgirls renting flats program' instead of the 'shipgirl adoption program'?" My adoptee barked out a laugh at that, and Tenryuu scowled for a moment, but then she let out a small sigh.

"I suppose you are correct, and Musashi didn't tear you limb from limb, so you must not be too much of a deviant." Tenryuu turned and pulled the other girl into a sudden hug, drawing a squawk of surprise from her. "Go on, you, get!"

"Well that was fun," said the girl in a low voice once she got next to me. "C'mon, lets get outta here before Ten-chan changes her mind and decides to like, sic some recon planes on us or try to move in with you."

"Uh, yeah, good idea," I reply, swallowing hard. Just what sort of mess have I gotten myself into? I guess it's too late to worry too much about it though. May as well forge ahead. "By the way, my name is Hiroshi. I'm pleased to meet you."

"Oh, right! I'm Yuudachi, and thanks-" Suddenly it clicked, and I couldn't help but break out into laughter, which caused Yuudachi to pull up short and give me a perplexed look. "Hey, what gives!"

"Sorry, but something Musashi said in my interview just made sense. She said my assignment was going to be a nightmare, and here I have the Nightmare of Solomon with me."

"Hah! Okay, you get a pass this time, but that's so not like her. Weird."

"This whole project is supposed to be about finding your place in the peacetime, right? Maybe that's her way of doing so."

"I guess. It'd be nice if Ten-chan would like stand down from battle stations though. Putting me with the Kindergarden was a low blow." Yuudachi fumed.

"What was that all about?"

"Eh, it's a sort of fleet in-joke. The 6th Destroyer Squadron is made up of all Akatsuki-class, they're the smallest of us all. They're good kids, ya know?" Here I nodded, as I really couldn't say one way or the other. "But they're not really the kind you let go out on their own. Ten-chan got sent as their flagship a lot, and one day somebody remarked it looked like a school teacher leading a kindergarden class down the street, and the name sort of stuck. But I can take care of myself."

"Of course, but if you need any help, don't be afraid to ask, okay?"

"Gotcha," Yuudachi nodded.

* * *

><p>The shrine was on the other end of town, which meant taking a train, and there I got to see a side of my adoptee I never would have guessed. I had expected that a shipgirl who was part of the program wasn't quite going to be used to civilian life, else like I said to Tenryuu, it would be the "shipgirls-renting-flats" program, but I wasn't expecting the first crisis of Yuudachi's civilian life to be a train.<p>

"Oof!" I grunted as Yuudachi crashed into me on the first turn. The impact was considerably more solid than what one would get from a normal girl of the same stature, but I at least remembered enough of my manners not to mention that. Instead I reached out a hand to help steady her, and to my surprise, she clutched on to it.

"Gahhh! This . . . thing is all wrong! It's like I'm used to being on the ocean and doing _this_," Yuudachi made an up-and-down wave motion with her hand. "And the train does _this_," which she indicated with a back-and-forth shimmying motion, before continuing, "and it's like not right! Sorry, Hiroshi, I'm really not a klutz, I promise!"

"Oh, trust me, there are a lot of people who still get thrown when riding. Just try not to judge me too harshly when it's my turn to stumble," I replied with a wink.

"Gotcha." After a few minutes of silence, Yuudachi turned back to me. "There's a _lot_ of town here, isn't there?"

"Well, for the area, I suppose so. The major cities, Tokyo and Osaka and the like, they're a lot bigger still."

"Wowww . . ." Yuudachi stopped and just stared out the window in amazement. "I knew that we weren't just fighting the Abyssals cuz they were there, we were trying to keep them from attacking the people behind us, but they never told us there was this _much_ behind us. It's a little bit, uh . . ."

"Nerve-wracking?" I suggested, seeing the frown on the girl's face.

"Yeah, actually. I feel worse now than right before my first sortee."

"It's called compartmentalization- knowing just how much was at stake would only make things worse, so you weren't told." I tried to make it sound like a good thing, and maybe partially succeeded, but it didn't entirely erase the frown from my adoptee's face.

"But . . . what if like they come back?"

"Then you'll just have to go out their and kick their asses again, won't you?"

"I suppose so," Yuudachi frowned again. "But what if they get stronger in the meantime?" At that moment, as I saw how the fear of the unknowable future seized the shipgirl, I began to understand the true value of the adoption scheme. For all that Yuudachi had the appearance of a teenager, and the brash confidence to go along with it, she had been alive, if that was the right term, for little over a year, and she had spent that year thinking only of the most immediate circumstances- how to win this fight, how to prepare for the next. Having fended for myself through four years of university and then living at the shrine, I was a wizened old soul by comparison, and I was supposed to impart some of that wisdom to my adoptee. Talk about nerve-wracking. Luckily, I had an answer ready at hand, at least for this situation, thanks to my friends from school.

"Well, as far as that goes, I've got some buddies who work at an engineering firm, and they're working on a new kind of torpedo for you guys. So Even if the Abyssals get stronger, you'll get stronger too."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Yuudachi replied, but she was smiling as she said it, which I counted as a victory for the moment.

* * *

><p>The next surprise came after we arrived at the station, when a second train arrived, and the rush of air caused Yuudachi's skirt to flare out for a moment. "Whoa, what's that on your leg?" I asked, having only caught sight of the black strap for a moment, and not wanting to stare.<p>

"Oh, this?" Yuudachi swept a hand against her leg and suddenly there was a black-anodized combat knife twirling through her fingers, the double edge glinting as though it were cutting the light. "Standard Mk. 9 combat knife. Every girl carries one as a last resort weapon, though some of our more aggressive members carry even bigger stuff. Ten-chan and Musashi both favor katanas, and Ten-chan's idiot sister likes to wade in with her naginata instead of using her guns." Yuudachi paused for a moment and looked side to side suddenly. "Uh, but please don't tell anybody I said that. Musashi probably threatened to harm you and looked all stern when she did it, but Tatsuta just calmly smiles as she politely tells you all the horrible things that might happen to you if you're naughty, and it's _scary_ as _hell_." The tremor that shook Yuudachi told me everything I needed to know about that Tatsuta girl, and then some. "There was one time our CO disappeared suddenly, everybody was worried something happened to him, so we turned the base upside down looking for him . . . except Tatsuta's room. We were kinda afraid we'd find the Admiral's gnawed bones under her bed . . . and whoever made the discovery would've been her midnight snack. He's still alive, turns out he had just gotten distracted while taking a personal call and wandered off the base proper." she assured me quickly.

"I . . . see. Well, it's heartening to know we have such fearsome warriors guarding our nation from the Abyssal threat."

"Tell me about it- whoa! What is this place?" Yuudachi's exclamation startled me, and I looked up to realize we had made it home already. Well, this is going to take some explaining.

"This, uh, is the house." There seemed to be a sparkle in Yuudachi's eyes as she took in the sight of the place, so I tried to look at it with fresh eyes myself. Although I called it a house, it's really an inn, built to house visitors to the local shrine at the foot of the mountains. With eight guest rooms outfitted in traditional style (did I mention shoji screens are a bastard to repair if they get holes in them?) and a courtyard (which takes an unpleasantly long time to sweep, especially with the shrine's insistence on using traditional bamboo brooms!), and the standard-issue Zen garden and cherry tree (and let me tell you, whoever decided to name the cat of the house "Lucky" should have to scoop up his "contributions" to the Zen garden and see if the name still fits!). To me, it simply is, but I suppose to someone like Yuudachi, who spent all her time in the cinderblock mansion that is naval housing, it would seem new, possibly refreshing even.

"All this is yours? You live here? This is so cool!"

"Uh, not quite. See the shrine gate up there, at the base of the mountain?" I pointed along the pathway where it led from the garden and Yuudachi nodded along after a moment. "The shrine owns this place. It's technically an inn, but with the travel restrictions due to the war, very few people have come here. I work as the groundskeeper here, and the shrine owners give me free room and board. I suppose I would also be considered the innkeeper at the moment, but if we ever start getting a significant number of pilgrims, they'll probably hire a real innkeeper, or at least have one of the shrine maidens do it."

"Ahh, I see, I see." Yuudachi nodded. "Question; like what exactly is a shrine?"

"That's- uh- well, let's unpack and I'll explain over dinner." Nothing like a bit of a challenge to keep things interesting, right?


	2. Care and Feeding

**Section 2: Care and Feeding**

"_In order to meet the shipgirl's nutritional requirements, a supply of Uniform Naval Rations will be shipped to the adopter's listed address on a regular basis. Please be careful to ensure these rations are distributed according to the schedule included with the ration package, as the Grade A Fuel Oil included is expensive to distill, and becoming overly saturated with fuel oil is a health and safety hazard for the shipgirl. As Adopter, you are expected to maintain discipline and stand firm in the face of your adoptee's attempts to persuade you otherwise, which may include: bargaining or bartering of services; pleading; whining; threats of violence (keep in mind shipgirls are required to obey all relevant laws, and their major armaments remain in storage at their home port); and/or Big Sad Eyes."_

I discovered the answer to the mystery of Yuudachi's lack of luggage waiting for us at the back of the house- crates. Lots of crates, all stamped "Property of Maizuru Naval Base".

"Huh. I'll, uh, go get a crowbar," I said, trying to imagine what could require this much storage.

"Pssh, I got it, don't worry," Yuudachi replied, pulling her knife again. "This is the real reason we carry these things," she muttered, inserting the flat of the blade under the lid of one of the crates. With a pretty decent kiai shout, Yuudachi brought her foot down on the hilt of the knife and the lid blew off the crate as though it had explosive bolts attached.

Sorting through the crates yielded a variety of materials, useful or otherwise; two of the crates were given over entirely to large pop-tab drink cans which were labeled "Uniform Naval Ration" and gave off the bitter whiff of refined oil. _Can she even eat regular food, I wonder?_ _Something else for the "questions I should have asked" pile._ Another crate held Yuudachi's personal belongings, consisting mainly of a relentlessly identical wardrobe, along with a bulky military-issue mobile phone, a small binder of important-seeming documents, and what I gathered was a care package packed by the other shipgirls.

The next crate drew an exclamation of dismay from my adoptee. "For cryin' out loud, I'm a destroyer, not a dreadnought!" Yuudachi cried out, giving the wooden box a hard kick. I went over and looked in to see what had upset her so much- it turned out to be a fold-up bed frame.

"They may have just included it as a precaution. Not everybody owns very sturdy furniture." I reasoned, erring on the side of neutrality.

"I'm not that heavy!"

"No, trust me, when I was in college I saw some pretty small people sit down and just keep going all the way to the floor when their cheapo chairs gave up the ghost."

"Weird." the girl made a face. "I guess I'm used to everything being standard-issue."

"Yeah, in the civilian world, you can choose what you own, well as long as your budget covers it."

"Heh, I know how that works, well kinda. We didn't have like a budget for furniture or anything, but we had to stockpile resources for when we had a big battle coming on, and if we used too much fuel and ammo in a month, we might be stuck kicking our heels on base for a couple weeks until the next month's supply rolled in."

"Hmm, yeah, that sounds familiar, only we called it Cup Ramen Week." I replied, but then I was caught short by the last of the containers- this one was a large case, like an oversize suitcase, with a carry-handle, and a note attached, which actually turned out to be an envelope marked "To the Adopter". I would have thought they would have given me something like this at the naval base, but never mind. The first thing I pulled from the packet was a note.

"_Please find enclosed a shipping manifest and verify that you have received all the materials listed. There will also be a small quantity of funds in the envelope in order to help with any miscellaneous expenses you occur in preparing to host your adoptee._

"_P.S. The case to which this packet was attached is to remain locked. If you open it, it will be at the wrong time."_

So, a strange and cryptic note then, even more so since they gave me a key, presumably to unlock the thing which must remain locked. Much less useful than the 30k worth of yen tucked in behind it, to be sure. That I know what to do with, and if the uniformity of Yuudachi's, well, uniforms is anything to go by, the first thing I'll be using it for is some clothes shopping. Anyway, I am not a superstitious man. You won't catch me clapping and bowing to the empty air or waving incense around, any of that kind of stuff. At the same time, we have a large closet in the inn for guests' luggage that has been warded with charms by the resident shrine maiden (who isn't actually _in_ residence, she's at university, but still . . .) in order to keep any misfortune at bay. Well, this case is luggage, and it's for a guest, so that seems a perfectly reasonable place to put it. Furthermore, I see no reason not to paste a seal to the case- it'll be like a souvenir of this place for Yuudachi wherever she goes next. Well, assuming this is actually her case. And assuming I make this into a place she wants to remember. Why couldn't they have left me some charms for _that_ rather than just ordinary demon-sealing ones?

* * *

><p>"This is probably a stupid question, but . . ." I probably should have looked my answer up in the guide, rather than pestering Yuudachi, but I had forgotten the issue until I was already in the pantry looking at the stack of big green cans that were now sitting on the third shelf by the soy sauce. "Do you eat food? Uh, I mean, can you eat normal food, and do you want to if so?"<p>

"I can, like a little anyway. Anything we eat ends up getting burnt in our boilers, so we're supposed to limit the amount of stuff we take in that isn't fuel oil . . . not like that stopped anyone when Kongou made scones." Yuudachi paused and stuck her head in the pantry. "What were you thinking of making?"

"Curry, probably? I forgot to go shopping for much else-"

"T-t-that's okay, uh, I thank you for the o-offer, but I'll, like, pass . . ." The sight of a shipgirl, constructed and trained to be a fearless warrior, going almost weak in the knees over curry, was not something I was expecting to see. There had to be a story there.

"Is curry really that scary?" I asked, trying to ease into it.

"N-no, curry isn't. Hiei is though." Yuudachi shivered again.

"Hiei . . . she's one of the Kongou class, right?"

"Yeah. Hiei shares her hullplan, but not her cooking skills. Lemme put it this way- 1st Fleet was off sacking an Abyssal stronghold at the same time Hiei served her curry to us in 2nd Fleet. We ended up with more damage."

"Whoa." I couldn't help but whistle in appreciation, if you could call it that. "Well, you certainly don't have to try any, but I'd like to think I can make a better curry than that."

In truth, I didn't think my cooking would be much better- there was only tofu for a base, and the few vegetables I threw in were determined more by the question of "what needs to be used up the soonest" rather than any attempt at making a culinary delight. Still, maybe that was for the best, after all, it is better to do a simple thing and do it well than to try something complex and not pull it off, right?

Yuudachi had been helping (well, watching at least) but that ended the moment I put the coconut milk into the pan. "Bleh," she groaned, fanning the air before her. "It's like, not you personally, but I just can't stand that smell anymore, after the incident, y'know?"

"That rather explains it," I replied. "You shouldn't be able to smell the coconut milk itself when the curry is finished."

"I see. Still, I gotta get outta here, before that smell sinks me!"

"Fair enough. If you want, you can go pick out a room. Go down the big hallway, and choose whichever one you like- they're technically guest rooms, but anymore we don't see eight guests in a month, let alone at one time."

"Okay!" Yuudachi called back, already a fair way down the hall in question. With that taken care of, I set about making something palatable out of what I had set before me.

Yuudachi reappeared shortly after the rice cooker went "ding!", and she gingerly set foot in the kitchen, taking a sniff of the air.

"Huh, it doesn't smell so bad. I'll give it a try, like if you're willing to share, I mean."

"Sure thing!" I reply. Hopefully, this won't go so bad as to torpedo the whole arrangement. _Huh. Looks like I'm picking up the lingo quick. I just hope that she's settling in as well!_

I plated the food, filling just a small bowl for Yuudachi, so as not to seem as though I was forcing much on her. I don't know how much it usually took to feed a destroyer, but that oil can she grabbed from the pantry looked to be about a liter in size, so I couldn't see her eating much else anyway. Yuudachi gently prodded the mix with a chopstick, looking for all the world like she expected the curry to leap up and bite at her. Then, after readying her drink, she picked up a tiny morsel and gingerly inserted it into her mouth.

"Huh. It's like, neither crunchy nor runny. And I don't feel like my insides are going to melt and pour down my legs. That's . . . a new experience for me, y'know?"

"That's good to hear," I replied, digging in to my own meal. Runny _and_ crunchy, though? I'm not quite sure how it would be possible to follow even a basic recipe and mess up a curry that thoroughly.

The rest of the meal went smoothly, as we exchanged small talk about the few things we had in common so far, mostly amusing sights from the train ride. Yuudachi also mimed some rather . . . interesting facial expressions from her last time eating curry, of the kind I would have expected to see only on fresh roadkill. However, at the end of dinner I received the first major challenge to my ability to adapt to the situation, while I was washing up the dishes. From the sink, I heard an odd kind of crunching, tearing sound. Curious more than startled I turned around to see Yuudachi _eating_ her oil can.

"Mmph?" she asked, around a mouthful of metal, a question I assumed to be along the lines of "what?".

"Sorry, I didn't realize the cans were edible." I replied, hoping I didn't look too startled.

"Oh, right, yeah." Yuudachi replied, after finishing the current piece. "The can is actually part of the ration. We need the steel to repair our bodies, among other things." Just then, Yuudachi stopped speaking, and looked at the door. "I can, like, trust you, right?"

"I promise you, I will never betray a confidence," I replied, trying to look as sincere as a man with a dish towel over one shoulder possibly can.

"Okay. I'm not even supposed to know this myself, but I guess you could say it was revealed to me, like literally, thanks to our illustrious First Carrier Division." Yuudachi rolled her eyes as she pronounced the title, then she banged a finger against the half-eaten can. "This isn't just normal steel. One of our biggest jobs during the war was raiding Abyssal bases and convoys. It wasn't like we weren't getting enough resources from home, but Fleet Command always wanted as much stuff from the Abyssals as possible, which never made sense to most of us; I mean like, fuel is fuel, right? But their guns are all different calibers from ours, and they don't fit our mounts either. The worst was the metal, though- okay so we go through bauxite in a hurry, especially rearming the carriers, but we never got why we had to bring back plain steel. It's heavy, and a major pain in the butt to haul back, but no, that stuff was Priority Number One. Well, it's not like this was the first nonsensical order that came down from the top, but it wasn't until one of those convoy raids that I found out what was going on."

"So how did you find out, and what's so bad about this Carrier Division? They always sounded like the heroes in the newspaper." I replied, to show I had been paying attention, but also to give Yuudachi an out- talking about this mysterious objective seemed to have her worried, and if she wanted to steer back into safer waters, I wanted her to be able to do so. _Besides, whatever she's talking about will probably get me in more trouble than making jokes about Musashi's choice of attire,_ I realized.

"Oh, yeah, First Div was great to have around when things went wrong, it's just like, in the meantime, you had to put up with their quirks, and that's what brought this into the open . . ."

* * *

><p>"<em>Well, I don't see anybody else, but . . ." Akagi paused for a moment as she dug in her quiver for a <em>Saiun _and fitted it to her bow. The shot went almost straight up, placing the scout plane on a close-in patrol orbit overhead. "That should give us plenty of warning if anybody shows up to crash the party."_

"_So much for that supposed ambush! Now let's sort these guys out and see if we made our money back on this sorry operation." Sendai clapped her hands twice and pointed at the disabled Abyssal cargo ships. Yuudachi nodded and pulled her knife to break open one of the disabled vessels, then stopped as she realized something._

"_Hey, wait a minute! Why is it just us destroyers doing this? You could like help out too!"_

"_That's because _I'm_ the flagship, and I have to stay ready to engage anything that might show up." Sendai stated, arms crossed._

"_And just what's going to sneak up on us with Akagi on watch, huh? This is discrimination against destroyers, am I right? C'mon guys, back me up here . . ?" Yuudachi turned to get support from her fellow destroyers, but instead she found Inazuma and Ikazuchi had already popped one of the cargo vessels open and were pitching ingots into their barge as fast as possible_

"_Hurry up, Yuu-chan, or you'll lose the race!" Inazuma called, before turning to guard her "loot" from her sister, who took the opportunity to move some ingots from Inazuma's barge to her own._

"_Figures," Yuudachi rolled her eyes at the squabbling pair and cut open another cargo ship, when a thought struck her. "Yo, Iku!" she called out, stomping on the water for emphasis._

"_Y-e-a-h?" I-19 popped up as best as she was able, "leaning" her elbows on the surface. "What's up?"_

"_You, for starters. Oof!" Yuudachi grunted as she heaved the well-rounded sub out of the water and into the cargo ship. "Here, start like throwing stuff in the barge."_

"_'Kayyy!" Iku did as she was told and started transferring cargo, but that set in motion another crisis._

"_Oh, for the love of all that's holy! Yuudachi, were you dropped on your head in the graving dock, or is this some kind of petty revenge?" Sendai snarled._

"_What?" Yuudachi asked, confused and more than a little angry, but then she looked up from where she had been working on the last of the cargo ships, and followed Sendai's pointing finger to the impending disaster- the twins had seen Yuudachi put Iku into one of the containers, and thought that a wonderful idea, which they attempted to replicate. However, neither of the little destroyers had the height or leverage Yuudachi possessed, nor did they think to ask for help, and so they had improvised, with Inazuma lifting Ikazuchi up and dumping her into the cargo ship. Then, Inazuma had tried to scale the side of the vessel, with her sister standing on the lip of the ship to help her up. Sendai and Yuudachi arrived on the scene with maybe one full second to spare before the unbalanced cargo vessel would have tipped over, spilling both the destroyers and the half load of supplies to the bottom of the ocean._

_However, attending to that problem left Akagi open to cause more trouble. The previous battle hadn't been difficult, but that was on account of Akagi blanketing the sky with planes, and now she was hungry, and there were barges full of food and no one attending them. After sorting through the barges to see if there was any bauxite and finding none, Akagi settled for second best and bit into one of the ingots of steel like a candy bar. The crunching noise got Sendai's immediate attention, and she turned on Akagi in a red-faced rage._

"_You IDIOT! Put that down NOW! That's Abyssal metal, pure yliaster, not the 2% blend we normally eat!" At the mention of "yliaster", Akagi's eyes went wide, and she spat out the chunk she had been chewing on with considerable haste, sending the piece skipping across the waves._

* * *

><p>"Yliaster, huh? I've never heard of that before." It was probably stating the obvious, but I was a bit perplexed, considering that I had spent most of my time at university hanging out with engineering students, I would have expected <em>somebody<em> to brag about any new advances in tech, especially concerning the war.

"Yeah. Like I said, I'm sure it's something we weren't supposed to know about, but Sendai was yelling loud enough that I'm pretty sure shipgirls in like the North Atlantic probably heard her.

"Hey, cheer up!" Yuudachi pointed at me. "We're not all that bad, honestly!"

"I wasn't thinking you were," I replied, trying to sound as polite as I could.

"No, but you do the same thing our old Admiral did, where you clench your fist at your side to keep from smacking your forehead with it."

"Oh." I quickly shook out my hand and tried to hide it behind my back, which generated giggles from Yuudachi. The evening began to wind down after that, with the only remaining chores being setting up Yuudachi's room and squaring away her belongings. That proved to be more of a hassle than I had planned for.

* * *

><p>"At this point, I'd kick this thing too, but I don't think that would help any," I grumbled at the object of our mutual discontents- the bed frame. Obviously, whoever had packed for this operation had thought no further than to look up the maximum physical dimensions for a shipgirl and then pack a frame that would fit that size for each adoptee. Of course, those numbers were skewed by the likes of the Yamatos, who would be on the tall end of the spectrum in <em>any<em> country, let alone here, and _that_ meant the damned thing weighed as much as Musashi did (the original one, not her current incarnation!) and just about scraped the wall at either end. Wrangling the thing into place took the worst bit of an hour.

"Are you sure you have like enough stuff to cover this?" Yuudachi asked, looking at the monumental piece of metal with trepidation.

"Yeah . . . that part's the easy part," I replied, trying not to pant too much. "Your clothes can go in here if you like, and I'll be right back with the bedding." I indicated the closet that wasn't blocked off by the bed, in case she wanted to put things away in privacy. I wasn't about to tell Yuudachi that I was going to be using the futons we kept for when the shrine hosted a sumo tournament, but they would certainly get the job done. _Maybe I should give the naval base a call tomorrow, so they can fix this mistake before inflicting it on too many more people. Or would that be wishful thinking?_

By the time I returned to the room, Yuudachi had already swapped out into her nightgown, not that I noticed at first- the gown was black like her uniform, and even had her white-and-red sailor collar printed around the neck. Fortunately, the bedding went on much easier than the bed frame itself, and it was making Yuudachi yawn just looking at the finished product.

"Alright, I think I'm done in for today. G'night, Hiroshi," Yuudachi crawled under the covers, but after a moment she looked up at me, and I could tell something was a bit off, but I didn't know what.

"Anything wrong?"

"Uh- no, not like anything major."

"Are you sure?"

" . . . yeah." Yuudachi replied, more telling herself than me.

"Well, if anything is wrong, you can let me know, my room is at the other end of the hall, by the kitchen. And we're going shopping tomorrow, so we can fix anything that needs to be fixed."

"Sounds . . . good . . ." came the sleepy reply, and I was pretty sure Yuudachi was out before I was out of the room.

_Well, I survived the first day. So far, so good, right?_


	3. Dry Clean Only

**Section 3: "Dry Clean Only" and Other Important Safety Notices**

_"Adopters are cautioned to remember at all times that although they possess the outward appearance of a human, shipgirls are not human, and possess several important differences. For example, a shipgirl's skeleton is entirely comprised of steel, and she will set off any metal detector she passes through. Likewise, immersion in or ingestion of large quantities of water are not advised (submarines excepted). This guide only covers basic first aid; in the event of a major injury, report to the nearest naval base, or arrange for casualty evacuation from same . . ."  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>She's warm . . . I'm not sure if that's surprising or not . . . wait, what?!<em>

I let out a yelp of surprise when I realized what had happened and rolled (well, more like fell) out of the bed. When I looked up, I saw that Yuudachi had made a more coherent response to the situation, in that she was on her feet and had her knife out.

"I promise I didn't do anything, please don't hit!"

"Oh! That's right, I like came over here because I couldn't sleep. Well, seeya in the mornin' . . ." So saying, Yuudachi resheathed her knife and re-inserted herself into the bed in a single fluid motion and was asleep once more before the comforter had settled all the way down. Come to think of it, I'm not entirely sure she was actually _awake_ during any of that. However, now I have to figure out what to do with myself. Option One would be to crawl back in myself and get the last half an hour of sleep I'd normally get before the alarm goes off, but I think my adrenaline is running a little too high to actually fall asleep in that time, and beyond that I'm quite sure that my "Avoid the Messy Death My Cheek Has Earned Me" ability is still on cooldown after dealing with Musashi. So that leaves Option Two; grab my clothes, head to the bathroom to dress, and get on with the day, which is what I ended up doing.

Purely out of habit I glanced at the opening procedures checklist, an artifact from when we had actual guests, and then promptly ignored most everything on it, since things like making morning rice for 9 people and turning on all the lights would only get me yelled at with the current level of funds. Instead, it was rice for one, tea for one, cat food for one (which Lucky annihilated in the time it took me to draw and sugar my tea, in the hopes that I'd look at the empty bowl and think I had forgotten to feed him; it only happened one time, and I was hung over, but apparently that's enough for Lucky to try it every single day).

While I waited for the rice to cook, I grabbed the broom (the _useful_ one, not the official one that never got the shrine steps clean) and swept off the front stoop. This was mainly in the hopes that Mr. Kuriyama would register my presence as he set up his own shop across the street- I do believe in the Shinto faith for more reasons than just because it aids in job security, but I like to know that more people than just Lucky and the resident spirits would notice if I wasn't able to get up in the morning.

* * *

><p>I had barely stepped inside when Yuudachi ran up to me, fully dressed but still looking half asleep. Oddly, her "wolf ears" had survived the night even though the rest of her hair needed some prompt attention from a brush, but that wasn't important at the moment- Yuudachi looked fairly worried about something.<p>

"Hey, your powerplant sounds like it's broken, I didn't, like, know what I should do about that but I thought you'd want to know."

"My- wait, what?" I asked, too confused to keep a level tone.

"Yeah, the boiler on your countertop, it like sounds like it's cracked a pipe, it's not gonna like blow up, is it?" _I don't have a boiler anywhere . . . oh! Right, she wasn't exactly paying attention while I was cooking last night._

"Oh, right. No, it's supposed to sound like that. Here, I'll show you." Yuudachi stood well back as I approached the offending device- I suppose a malfunctioning boiler would be a worrying prospect for a shipgirl, but my only problem was how to make the reveal without making it seem like I was mocking her. _Best to get it over with, I guess_. Without further ado, I opened the lid on the rice pot and tilted it so Yuudachi could see the contents.

"Oh, it's rice. I saw it plugged into the wall and thought it was like powering something." Yuudachi explained as I started scooping out a serving for breakfast. "So, wait, does that thing like _make_ the rice?"

"Well, it cooks raw rice, but if you mean where does rice come from to start with, it's grown in a field, like a shallow swamp."

"Oh. So, honestly, how dumb do I look right now?"

"I, uh, wouldn't say you look dumb." I supplied, trying to be diplomatic.

"Hiroshi, you're like giving me the same look Tenryuu does when I miss a full spread in torpedo practice. It's okay, I can handle being told when I'm doing something wrong."

"Ah, well, it's more like this is stuff I take for granted, so it's hard to step back and walk through it. It's like with the oil can last night- what's normal to you isn't to me."

"Ohh, got'cha." Yuudachi palmed her belly. "Speaking of, I'm starving!" In a flash, Yuudachi was in the pantry, and already had her can open before she had returned to the table. Now, I would never think to _distrust_ my adoptee, but something about the way she did it reminded me of Lucky's antics from earlier, so just for my own peace of mind, I flipped open the guidebook and took a look at the fueling chart. _Shiratsuyu-class Destroyer: 1x ration each, morning and evening. Supplemental ration for heavy exercise: 1/2x ration, as needed._ Then, for curiosity's sake, I flipped a bit further on and discovered that the guidebook writers had been thorough rather than practical: _Yamato-class Super-Dreadnaught: 3x ration each, morning, noon, evening. Supplemental ration for heavy exercise: 2x ration, as needed. Yeouch! That's a pretty hefty bar tab, as well as pretty hefty in general- those cans are at least a kilo each. Anyway, I don't have to worry about the ration at least, but that still leaves other matters of discipline . . ._

Once Yuudachi was done with her breakfast, I decided to broach the subject, albeit cautiously. "So, about this morning . . ."

"Oh, uh, yeah." Yuudachi turned a bit pink. "See, at home, well the base I mean, I normally share a room with Maikaze, and she like snores like a plane crash, or her namesake I suppose. So I thought that a quiet room would be like the best ever, but I woke up and I couldn't get back to sleep without some noise, so I snuck in to your room. Sorry." The admission seemed to have shaken her up quite a bit. I suspected there was something more there, but this definitely wasn't the time or place to bring it up.

"Well, I'm not upset or anything, but we'll need to come up with a better solution- for one thing, I'm pretty sure Tenryuu and Musashi would have an argument about who got to chop me into little tiny bits if they saw me in the same bed as you."

"Well, I sure won't tell!" Yuudachi grinned. "I like it here, and besides, they'd probably make me clean up the blood. Although, now that I like think of it, what are we going to do today? I feel like weird all of a sudden, I'm so used to the training routine back at base, I like don't know what to do."

"I still have to sort out the gardens, but then I thought we'd go into town and pick up anything you need, I wasn't sure if you wanted to wear your uniforms every day or not."

"I, uh, hadn't thought about that either." Yuudachi pinched her shirt and looked at it for a minute. "I suppose I don't have to decide like right now anyway?"

"Nope, there's plenty of time. But first, the garden." I must have sighed or something, because Yuudachi frowned pretty hard when I said it.

"It can't be that bad can . . . it?" Opening the back door revealed the full breadth of the place, which caused my adoptee to trail off in surprise. The garden was 50 meters by 25, and laid out with intricate pathways leading through the flowerbeds to the shrine gate and also through a smaller gate to the Zen garden (we're nothing if not an equal-opportunity guesthouse, or rather we don't want to turn away anybody who might throw money at the place!). Keeping the place pristine required a considerable amount of work, a fact of which I am reminded on a daily basis. "Okay, that's a lot of stuff. Where do we start?"

"Unfortunately, it's not a 'we' job until I get the walks swept at least. Letting someone who isn't ordained by the shrine step on anything other than bare stone is said to offend the spirits, while I've never _seen_ anything bad happen, Her Holyness seems to know if anything unusual has happened in the garden between visits, so better safe than sorry. This won't take horribly long, I hope. In the meantime, if you were back at base, what would you be doing now?"

"Hmm . . ." Yuudachi held a thumb up to the sun, taking a bearing of some sort from it. "Well by now, like all of the destroyers _should_ be up and running, so assuming we didn't have to tow anybody outta their bunks, we'd be gathering for morning training, either gunnery practice or a tactics and identification lesson in the classroom. Those generally switch back and forth every other morning, unless we've got an operation coming up, then it's drill, drill, drill. After doing that till your brain melts and runs out your ears, it's lunchtime, mainly because by then the cruisers want to get away from us before they're driven mad or we decide to start shooting at them!

"After lunchtime, we go round up 6th Squadron and then it's back to practicing, either torpedoes or anti-air drills. These are always held in the afternoon when there's maximum chop in the water to screw things up. Never mind that nobody in her right mind is going to actually like sortie in the middle of the afternoon, and if the Abyssals want to try it, they're welcome to get bounced all over the waves to hell and gone, but whatever. They didn't let me write the rules."

"That sounds like . . . fun," I replied, in the same tone of voice I used for Lucky's "contributions" to the Zen garden.

"Oh yeah. Got me into like a bit of trouble one day, but so worth it." I could hear the smirk in Yuudachi's voice as she relayed the tale. "So this one day's the worst, there's a storm cooking up down south, and it's turned the chop into complete shreds. I'm already on the shitlist by the time I go in the water- oh yeah, and subs are excused from afternoon practice, 'cause poor Iku barfed like all over the Admiral's pants and shoes when she got out after morning practice. Even like the battleships-" Here I noticed a hitch in my adoptee's voice again. _Definitely something to look into later,_ I mused, filing that thought away while Yuudachi continued her story. "They're even shook up from the morning runs. So not good. Anyway, I'm like preemptively in trouble because I asked why bother with afternoon practice, since there's no way even the big Abyssal bitches could maneuver in this mess, and if they did make something who could survive that kind of pounding, like how are we supposed to sink it? Admiral was _not_ amused. So out we go.

"Akagi's standing on the freaking dock to launch planes, since there's no way she could do it while afloat, but whatever. Procedure is to throw flak as much as you can, but really it's rush forward to get under the dive bombers before they can make their runs, then turn in case there's torpedo bombers following them, and shoot the little snots down as they turn to line back up. Well, so I go to do the turn and suddenly _boom!_ there's this huge surge, throws me completely out of the water, and I realize I'm actually like _above_ one of the bombers. Okay, so this isn't supposed to happen, but I figure the Admiral isn't going to let us go home until we've gotten enough kills or his pants come back from the drycleaners, and like a kill's a kill, right? So I clap my hands around that little snot, _whap!_ just like a fly. The bomber crumbles to dust, fairy-chan bails out and climbs up my sleeve to give me an earful about it, but whatever, I finally got one!

"Of course, that gets the exercise called off immediately, and the Admiral tears into me in front of the whole fleet, going on and on about how planes are like expensive, and we need to respect naval equipment and not break it. In order to 'teach me the errors of my ways', I was told I had to replace the broken plane from scratch and do all the maintenance on all the planes used that day."

"Ouch! How'd that go?"

"Hah!" Yuudachi barked out her laugh. "Akagi took care of it for me. She said she'd have to like go over all the planes again anyway to double-check my work, so she'd just do it herself. Besides, she and the rest of the fleet thought it was hilarious."

"Well, Yuudachi, I think you'll find military and civilian life aren't so different after all- the guys in charge can say whatever they like, but the people on the front lines stick together and do whatever gets the job done."

"Y-yeah." Oops! I seem to have hit on whatever is bothering her again. Time for a distraction.

"Say, if you still want to help out, I've got a job for you." I beckoned, and Yuudachi didn't quite hurry over, but she definitely seemed interested in doing something other than reminiscing. I led the way under the arch to the Zen garden.

"So what do I do?" came the question, which I answered with a bamboo rake. "Like what's this?" Yuudachi asked as she took the rake.

"This is the Zen garden, it's part decoration and part meditation. The gravel gets jumbled up by wind and rain, and also _cats_," I glared over at where Lucky was slinking along the garden wall. "So we want to rake the gravel back into shape. But don't just smooth it over- the meditation part comes from arranging the gravel in order to evoke an image or tell a story in the way it flows."

"Huh." Yuudachi ran the rake back and forth across the gravel, studying how the carpet of tiny stones reacted. "Huh . . ."

* * *

><p>I went back to the remainder of my tasks in the garden, mainly clearing off the seemingly tons of rubbish that the flowers accumulated overnight. <em>How can they lose so many petals and leaves and there still be something left?!<em> It was a question I asked myself several times a week, but I had never been given a satisfactory answer. Oh well. To be fair, I could probably get away with half the effort I put in; for all that I complain about the gardening, I do it thoroughly every day out of boredom. Does that make me a good person or a bad one? Well, I suppose I never took philosophy. Although, speaking of philosophy, I should probably see what Yuudachi has done with the Zen garden.

"How's it going . . ?" I lost my train of thought just then, when I noticed that Yuudachi was actually standing on the pond adjacent to the Zen garden. "Wait, how does that work?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're standing on the water. I thought you needed your rigging for that?" I pointed and was rewarded with a momentary spike of panic as Yuudachi picked up one foot to look at it, leaving her balanced one-legged on the water. _Surely even if she topples over, a bit of pond water isn't going to ruin her, but still, the guidebook said . . !_

"That's like the trick! Our regular shoes _are_ rigging. They don't have enough traction for an actual ocean sortie or anything, but it's enough to let us stand on calm waters."

"Wait, I thought your rigging had to be powered in order to function?"

"Not really. I mean, if I'm not wearing it, it's just like a regular shoe, it'll fall in, but it doesn't need power besides that." Yuudachi stopped then, and cocked her head as a thought came to her. "Where did you get your ideas about the rigging?"

"Uh, well, there was that TV series about the war a while ago . . ." I figured Yuudachi would be familiar with the show, seeing as she was one of the characters portrayed by the series, but what I didn't figure on was the mention causing her to slap her forehead hard enough to nearly topple over.

"Okay, like first thing's first- don't believe anything you actually saw in there, especially with our gear. That hokey launching scene doesn't work at all, and like I should know because they wanted to do it live for a promotional, and even with like plastic mock-ups they couldn't get the impact forces down to where they shipwrights thought we'd survive the process- and that was just for us destroyers. You remember the Yamato episode? If they threw all that kit at her, like for real, she'd end up smeared all over the walls! The only reason Fleet Command even gave the show the greenlight was like because the press was starting to get ugly, I guess like they saw somebody come back from sortie all shot up and made a fuss about it. So they focused on making it look like we were all happy and nice even when bad things happened." I saw Yuudachi clench her fists in sudden anger, and figured I had managed to step on whatever raw nerve she had yet again.

"Uh, if there's anything you want to say, please feel free. Or not, I don't expect you'll want to open up to me on just the second day-"

"Huh? Oh, it's like not that. Just that show pisses me off- they actually used new-builds for the main characters, and seeing her on-screen death like weirded that Kisaragi out so bad, she practically couldn't fight if there was a chance of enemy airpower showing up. Plus it got me put in the brig for like a week."

"Wait, what? How'd that happen?" _Also, it sounds like your nickname should've been "Nightmare of Discipline" at this rate!_

"So after the show was about halfway through, some tabloid started trying to get like the 'real' scoop on our lives, and they tried to get photos of us. I'm out walking after dinner one evening and I see a flashbulb go off near the destroyers' quarters, so I bolt around the corner and I'm gonna like give Aoba a piece of my mind. She's our resident shutterbug, and she's gone all creeper on us enough that I didn't even think it would be anything else. I saw a likely bush and put my fist in it, and apparently paparazzi aren't as sturdy as heavy cruisers. Like, who knew?" Yuudachi shrugged as she said it, but I could see the grin on her face at having nailed the tabloid agent. "Anyway, the guy was carted off to the ER, and officially I got put in the brig for striking a civilian. Unofficially, I was like everybody's hero for the week, except Aoba, who didn't like the idea that I'd punch her in the face for doing her thing, and Ika-chan, Ikazuchi that is, one of the Kindergarten, who actually stood outside my door and like scolded me for hurting the civvy. Like everybody's got their quirks, I guess."

"Huh." I really wasn't sure what to make of that, so instead I took a look at the Zen garden, to see what Yuudachi had decided to do with it. What I saw there was a sort of double spiral, with two distinct sets of lines arcing inward towards each other, punctuated by white and black stones arranged in groups at certain points. Considering the number and arrangement of the stones, I assumed they were intended to represent ships or shipgirls, but I couldn't make heads or tails of what was supposed to be going on. "So, what does your design here mean?" I asked, both because I thought it might give me a bit more insight into my adoptee, and also because I really wanted to know what it meant.

"This? It's the Destroyers' Dance, well like in theory anyway. It's a maneuvering diagram for ships, like real ships I mean- a lot of the classic tactics don't really work when we're as flexible as this-" Yuudachi whirled the rake like a staff and braced it across her back, turning so that both her feet and the back end of the rake were pointed towards me. "But it never hurts to know like the fundamentals. It 'strengthens the warrior spirit', or so the trainers say.

"Anyway, it works like this: We destroyers come in on the forward quarter in echelon formation and throw out some- not all!- of our torpedoes at the enemy formation. This forces the other guys to turn, unless they want to become like one-use submarines. Then we actually turn out a bit, our echelon becomes a straight line and then we angle back in like a little bit, and that should let us cross-the-T on their butts.

"This is the part where if they have a smart commander it like actually hurts them, because the idea is you never want your T crossed, so they'll throw a propeller into full reverse and like try to turn and put us back on their broadsides. But that's where we get 'em because at this point we should be going all out, and that means we're passing by them like faster than their turrets can turn, and then we dip in a little bit and throw a full load of torpedoes at them. The enemy can like try to evade, but they just popped a reverse to get on us, and they'll never get back up to running away speed before the torpedoes get there and bam!" Yuudachi pounded her fist into her open hand hard enough that I imagined the noise was an actual torpedo explosion, and I could tell I had jumped in fright because the next thing I heard was howls of laughter.

"Well, if you ever get tired of being a destroyer, I think you could definitely make a career in entertaining," I replied, while waiting for my heart to return to the confines of my chest cavity.

"Thanks, but like no thanks. If half of what Sendai has told me about her sister Naka is true, I'd be constantly afraid she was going to sneak up and cut me for stealing like even a little bit of her spotlight." I nodded at that- while I didn't personally know Naka, other than to have seen advertisements for her songs now and then, I couldn't imagine the combination of an idol's ego and 14cm naval artillery to be a healthy one. Back to the matter at hand, however, I felt the need to point something else out to my adoptee.

"You're really a very straightforward girl, aren't you, Yuudachi-san?"

"I guess you could say that." Yuudachi looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "What's up? I think that's like the only time you've called me '-san' so far."

"Well, I'm noticing a couple of problems. First one is my fault, I really need to remember to explain things more thoroughly. Such as where I keep the decorating stones, for example, which leads me to problem number two," I pointed down at Yuudachi's socks for emphasis on my point, which was, "We really need to get you some other clothes, because I don't think your uniform was meant for crawling around in the mud looking for stones."

"Huh. Oops." Yuudachi muttered as she looked down at herself- with the amount of mud on her from the knees down, I would've believed it if she said somebody had dipped her in a fondue pot. "Yeah, maybe I should go change clothes, huh?"

* * *

><p>The train ride to the center of town was surprisingly uninteresting, but then I suppose there really wasn't much to see, and this trip lacked the novelty factor from Yuudachi's first time off base. Stepping off into the center of town, however, was another story- we made the next leg of our journey in silence, due to the fact Yuudachi was grinning far too much to talk.<p>

While the overall goal of the day was shopping for clothes and useful things, my first objective was food. While Yuudachi wasn't scheduled to refuel at midday, I definitely needed something. Given the situation, I wasn't going to slow our mission down with a sit-down meal, which left the various pushcart operators. Given a pick of the various heavenly smells wafting from the carts, I guessed correctly that Yuudachi wouldn't turn down a taiyaki , and I scarfed down three in order to fortify myself until dinnertime.

"Now if only there were like jam-filled pastryfish like actually in the oceans, it would make support missions worth running! But I suppose torpedo fishing would've given away our positions." Yuudachi thought out loud as she devoured her pastry.

"Probably," I agreed. "And they'd either be soggy or have to have some kind of hard coating to keep the water out."

"Yeah, like so much for a good idea. Maybe I can get Mamiya-san to come up with a way to make fuel oil into a jelly to fill some. Y'know, like powder up some of the can metal and mix that in to thicken it up or something?"

"Maybe . . ." I replied. I decided that this wasn't the right time to explain that her concoction sounded more like a filler for torpedoes than taiyaki. The talk of fuels put my mind on another track, however; I was surprised no one had noticed Yuudachi yet. Granted, not everyone paid attention to the war and the girls, and I don't know if the adoption program was well known either but I would have expected, indeed I had been preparing myself for _some_ kind of reaction, if only from the anime otaku. _Oh, right, that would be _why_ there's no reaction!_ I thought after mentally reviewing what I had seen of the show- Yuudachi appeared in her original configuration for most of the series' run, so fans would more likely be expecting straight blonde hair and green eyes. Considering her thoughts on the show, I was glad nobody had caught on yet. However, thinking back on the conversation earlier, I recalled something that might well have been a thorny point, and like a good maso- I mean guardian, I decided to investigate.

"So, a question, when you were talking about the TV series earlier, you mentioned 'that' Kisaragi. I thought you guys were unique?"

"Well, yeah, we are. But if somebody should get sunk, it like releases her spirit or something, which means she can be reborn during new construction. But it doesn't always happen." Yuudachi frowned as she brushed off the last of the taiyaki crumbs. _Well, didn't hit any mines there, but I've got a course plotted for the minefield. And a taste for naval metaphors as well, apparently._

Our first real stop was a department store, where I introduced Yuudachi to the wondrous world of denim, specifically in the form of gardening overalls. My adoptee, however, was less than amused. "I hate to say it, but these are really ugly." Yuudachi frowned as I held up the overalls to get a size match.

"Yes, well, they aren't supposed to be pretty. They're intended to cover you up so that the mud and crud go on the overalls, not you."

"Okay, but I wear this uniform when I get shot at, shouldn't it be like good enough for fighting plants?" Yuudachi pouted at me, fists on hips. Unfortunately for her, that was the one form of attack that her remodel had made weaker rather than stronger.

"Yes, but what happens if you get hit?" I tried not to blush with embarrassment as I laid out my argument, for it came from the same rather salacious photos that had stirred up public opinion enough to get the TV series aired- the shipgirls in question had been in some heavy combat, and their uniforms had not held up well; in fact, the pictures had to be retouched before general release, adding in strategically placed "smoke trails" to cover the girls' modesty.

"Uh, that's why we keep spares handy?" Yuudachi offered.

"And having a garment that's purpose-made for rough labor will keep you from needing to ask for spares from the base if they were to get torn up by rocks or tough foliage." That argument, or at least the "needing to ask the base" part brought my adoptee around to my point of view rather quickly, and the overalls were added to my shopping basket immediately afterward. Of course, that had been the easy part.

"Now, is there anything else you'd like to pick out?" I asked, keeping my tone precisely neutral.

"Uhh . . . is there like something I'm supposed to be picking out?"

"There doesn't need to be, but if you would like other options besides your uniform, this would be the place."

"I, uh, I'm not sure if I know how to do that. I like get the idea . . . I think. But our uniforms really like are who we are- even if you could make one that fit me, I couldn't wear Hiei's outfit, because I don't belong in her class."

"Ideally, the point of a new outfit would be to make you more you, not less," I said, which earned me a capital-grade stupid look. "You know, project the image of what you people to see you as. Er, like with your scarf and the hair . . . things." I pulled at my temples, trying to mime Yuudachi's wolf-ear style, as I had run out of words to try and make sense of what I was actually trying to say.

"Oh! That I like get . . . I think." And with that, Yuudachi set off in search of something that would fit the description, and while she didn't have Shimakaze's infamous speed, only the fact that we were inside a store kept me from breaking into an actual run to keep up with her.

After what might have been 20 minutes or a minor eternity, I caught up to Yuudachi, who did have a large handful of clothing items ready to add to the basket . . . but they all happened to be of the category of things that don't see the light of day. "Uhh, just so we're clear, you're not-"

"I know what underwear is, silly!" Yuudachi blew me a raspberry as she dumped her loot in the basket. "But it's like, the fleet quartermaster's office is staffed by all men, and I'm pretty sure they just ordered whatever they could get lots of for cheap, so the stuff we got issued to go with our uniforms was like every bit as comfortable as being torpedoed. Most girls gave up and bought their own stuffs, but as you so kindly pointed out earlier-" here I was given a sidelong glance that surely would have left holes in the wall if my adoptee had been outfitted with her rigging- "We're good at outlasting our clothes, so I thought I'd stock up when I had the chance."

"Okay, fair enough, but, please pardon my rudeness, however some of these items don't appear as though they would fit you properly . . ." I stammered, looking mostly at the floor, or rather watching in case Yuudachi went for her knife.

"What, do they not like have bribes in the civvy world?"

"I, uh, they- er, we do, yeah." I shook my head to try and break the temporary spell. "However, did you find anything you wanted for actual clothes?"

"Not quite? I think I know like what I'm looking for, it's just not, well, _here_." Yuudachi shrugged seemingly pointing to the whole store at once.

"I think I know what you mean. We'll need to go to a custom shop, but that will have to be another day. The only one I know of does business for the shrine, so unless you're looking for a kimono, they won't be of much use."

"Well, I guess that's it, then. Unless there's anywhere else you want to show me?" Once again it was my turn to look somewhat embarrassed, as I really didn't know much else to do in town, aside from the waterfront, and it wasn't quite warm enough to do anything along the beach, never mind the fact that I couldn't imagine what I could possibly know about water that a shipgirl didn't. To make matters worse, Yuudachi seemed to be able to read my expressions like a book. "Heh, maybe we can like explore the city together tomorrow."

"That sounds like an idea." I said, trying to salvage the situation as best as I could, and we headed for the registers. Had I not been feeling somewhat sorry for myself over the mediocre outcome of the trip I might have noticed the approaching disaster, but I was entirely unaware of what I had stepped into, and paid off the till with the all-purpose funds I had been given as part of the welcome package. Yuudachi scooped up her new clothes and we headed for the door.

"Uh-oh." Yuudachi muttered shortly after we left the shop, in a tone of voice completely different to the one I was used to- not cold or harsh, but very spare, wasting neither time or breath. I expected this was what she sounded like on the battlefield, and that put an instant shot of adrenaline into me. "Trouble incoming, starboard forequarter." I looked up and saw a constable approaching us. He seemed to be _acting _casual, but he wasn't _being_ casual.

"Pardon me, sir, but might I trouble you for a moment of your time?" Now I was thinking _uh-oh_ as well- while outsiders might see Japan as an extraordinarily polite society, flowery words don't change the intent behind a cop corralling you on the street one bit.

"Not a problem, Constable, what may I do for you?" I offered. I could at least play the game, until I figured out what had gone wrong.

"Ah, sir, it seems there was a report recently of a man making untoward purchases with a young lady in tow, and purely for formality's sake you see, might I inquire as to what you have in your bag?" _Oh. Right._ The pieces fell into place just then, and I tried to keep my composure as I worked on a way to explain the situation. Meanwhile, Yuudachi started her response with a palm-slap to her forehead and then barged straight in.

"This isn't like what you think, Constable. Here, look." Yuudachi pulled out her ID, a surprisingly nice embossed brass plaque and handed it over. "I'm on assignment with the Peacetime Transition Commission." It was a well-meaning attempt on her part, but one of the things Yuudachi hadn't learned about the civilian world yet was the intricacies of interacting with an Official Representative of the State. I could practically see the Constable's eyes go "TILT" and tried not to perform my own facepalm, because I knew what was coming next.

"I, um, will need to receive additional guidance on this matter, Destroyer-san. For the moment, would you and your companion kindly accompany me to the precinct office so that we may sort out this matter?"

"Yes, we can do that sir." I said, which earned me the worst glare of the day from Yuudachi. Then my adoptee hauled out a large chunk of metal in flat military green, and I could only cringe as I assumed it was going to be applied to the Constable's head at considerable force, but instead, Yuudachi unfolded the thing, which I belatedly recognized as her fleet-issue cellphone. "Commset" might have been a better term for it, because no regular girl would have been caught dead holding the ugly thing, and based on the squealing I heard as it connected, it ran on something other than the ordinary networks. The Constable was not happy, but he hadn't made it into an actual arrest yet, so Yuudachi wasn't technically doing anything wrong.

"Yeah, no it's like a mistake . . . Uh-huh . . . I guess? I dunno, I've never been there. Follow the locator signal and- oh." I saw Yuudachi suddenly go pale and swallow hard. "Yeah. We'll be watching for her." Wide-eyed, Yuudachi let herself be put into the Constable's car, as did I. I turned to ask what she had found out on the phone, but Yuudachi just put a thumb to her throat and made the "off with their heads" gesture. Uh-oh.

* * *

><p>We had only just arrived at the station and been placed in an interrogation room when Yuudachi's reinforcements arrived. That was not to say we were in the clear yet, not after I saw the look on Yuudachi's face in the car, and when I peeked out the door, I found that my pessimism in regards to the situation had been amply rewarded. The girl in the hallway had mounted her rigging, armaments and all, not that she needed them- a palpable aura of danger surrounded her. Her deep purple hair and the cut of her uniform made me think of Tenryuu who I had met yesterday, which meant this could only be the devilish sister ship, Tatsuta. A mechanical halo floated above her head in complete mockery to the reality of the situation, much like the pleasant smile on her face as she turned her charms upon the Constable. Some fatalistic impulse drove me to inch down the hall slightly, in order to hear what was being said.<p>

"While I understand that the Peacetime Transition Commission materials were only recently disseminated and so you might not have taken the time to familiarize yourself with the particulars, I don't think it unreasonable for a public security official to be capable of recognizing a shipgirl, especially considering that this very city is Yuudachi-san's home port, and the Constabulary is trained for recognition and recovery operations. I have the compliance certificate for this station on file at the naval base, and surely our upstanding guardians of the law wouldn't _forge_ or misrepresent themselves on an official document, now would they?

"I thought that perhaps you were simply unaccustomed to seeing us without our wargear equipped, so I made sure to appear here in full regalia as a refresher." Tatsuta's beatific smile never shrank a millimeter, nor did her sweetly congenial tone of voice change in the slightest, but the Constable went deathly pale as Tatsuta's turrets pivoted to take aim at his forehead with a faint mutter of gears. Tatsuta then tapped a finger against her lip as though she had just thought of something. "Ah! Perhaps you were simply being zealous in carrying out your duties, seeing as Yuudachi-san was unarmed, maybe you thought she was in danger? Well, allow me to put your fears to rest, my good man, for even without our rigging, we shipgirls retain strength in proportion to our classifications." Suddenly, Tatsuta wrapped her hands around the man's biceps and lifted him clear off the floor in one smooth motion. "So you see, you really have nothing to worry about on our behalf. Now, are there any other matters you need me to clear up for you, sir, or might I take charge of my subordinate and her adopter and leave?" This was a statement, never mind that Tatsuta had phrased it as a question, and the Constable readily nodded agreement once his feet were back on the floor.

"Come along, you two!" Tatsuta turned her sweet smile on us, and I felt the prickle of terrified sweat break out all over.

* * *

><p>Tatsuta led us out to a curious vehicle- a limousine whose bodywork made it a contemporary for when the shipgirls' namesakes would have sailed, but with six wheels. I gathered that it must have been quite sturdy indeed, for it didn't even budge when I got in, and even in full gear Tatsuta barely inconvenienced the suspension.<p>

"Now that the litter-pickers have been put back in their place, what pray tell did happen? I can easily believe that some kind of pervert managed to slip through the screening process, but I would not have believed that you would go along with such a scheme, Yuudachi-chan." Now that she wasn't intentionally trying to inflict a nervous breakdown on her target, Tatsuta seemed a lot more, well, human, but still almost as frightening as before.

"That's not even like a little bit fair! We were going shopping for new clothes, but I didn't find anything I liked except some underwears so we paid and left. I don't get what the big deal is?" Yuudachi grimaced, I could see she was caught between wanting to mount a vigorous defense and not wanting to provoke a smiling death sentence from Tatsuta.

"My, my, this child is still so innocent? I don't know whether I should be relieved or ashamed of you, Adopter-san."

"Okay, I know what you're talking about, I just didn't think that just like buying stuff should trigger that kind of situation!" Yuudachi fumed, which caused Tatsuta to giggle.

"Oh, you have so much to learn yet, Yuudachi-chan, although I cannot recommend you trying to educate her, Adopter-san." This bit of advice was delivered with a gleaming smile and gleaming gunbarrels both, and I wholeheartedly agreed with Tatsuta's recommendation. "Oh! One last thing, however," Tatsuta darted a hand into our shopping bags and liberated a generous portion of the purchases which had caused the problem in the first place. Yuudachi's eyes went wide, and she started to snarl, but Tatsuta just held up a finger and gave an explanation in that terrible sweet voice of hers. "Consider it an offering to ward away misfortune. After all, I'm sure Musashi-san would be most displeased to hear that her project had derailed before the first week was even over. Now, do have a good evening!" Still smiling, Tatsuta closed the door and the limousine rolled away, and my adoptee and I both waited until it was well out of sight before we felt safe breathing again.

"Well, we survived, which I suppose is all that can be asked for," I sighed. Of course, this provoked another one of those little glitch-and-hiss reactions from Yuudachi._ I really need to find out what's up with that, and soon. But for right now, the agenda looks more like dinner._ "Oh, damnit!"

"What's up?" Yuudachi whirled to look at me after I swore.

"I was going to get some things to make dinner with while we were out, but then the cop happened . . ."

"And asking Tats to like change the Scary Limousine Ride to somewhere else sounded dangerous." Yuudachi said, summing up my thoughts more-or-less precisely.

"Yeah. Well, I suppose it's miso soup and rice time." I shrugged. "Sorry that I don't have anything more exciting to offer."

"Meh?" Yuudachi offered a shrug of her own. "It's not as though I actually like need human food. I appreciate the offer, but I'll be fine without anything besides my oil."

"Maybe so, but it is still a failing on my part as host not to provide." I replied, nodding my head in contrition.

"Well, okay, if we're going to go that far, then I'm the one who brought Tropical Storm Tatsuta down on our heads, which made it impossible for you to do your duties."

"How about we call it a draw and go get groceries tomorrow instead?"

"Works for me," Yuudachi replied, smiling once more.

* * *

><p>As the evening wore down Yuudachi took to the bath, more out of habit than anything, or so she said. I took the time to tidy up a bit, flick a few toys at Lucky to remind him of what it felt like to be in motion, and generally pack away the day. Running an inn, even one as empty as this place, I've cultivated a sense for when things are about to go non-linear, and that feeling was prickling quite intensely.<p>

I heard the bathroom door open, then Yuudachi's door open and shut. Sure enough, not two minutes later I heard her door open and then Yuudachi came into the kitchen in her pajamas, dragging a pillow behind her in a way that would've been adorable if not for the empty look in her eyes.

"Yeah, so this isn't going to work, like even a little. Can I sleep with you?"

"I think if Tatsuta heard you, she would either start cheering for you, or shelling me. Possibly both," I mused, trying to stay as light as possible as I said it. There was just enough lag time as Yuudachi processed that for me to duck as she took a swing at me with her pillow.

"Ugh, not like that! I'll sleep on the floor if I have to, just I can't handle sleeping in a room without someone else present anymore." I could see there was a story behind this, so I led Yuudachi to the kitchen table and sat down opposite her, and waited for her to hopefully open up.

"We had a patrol sortie go bad, not long after I got my remodel. Long story short, Ise was our flagship, and she got- she got killed and I didn't even have a scratch on me!" Yuudachi bit her lip to keep from shouting, and it took her a while to continue. "We got home and I just piled in to bed and slept. What I didn't know was that Maikaze was scheduled to sortie overnight. I woke up hard in the middle of the night, and I didn't know who I was for a moment. I didn't even know _what_ I was- I didn't have any damage to show for the battle, and I couldn't see the dockyards from the window, for all I knew I was just some civvy girl who had cracked up at school and dreamed up the whole war and everything. Maybe I was just crying over somebody who never even existed. At that point, I wanted- I don't even like know what I wanted. I think if I had found a weapon I could have tried to hurt myself, but if I _had_ like found a weapon, then it would have confirmed what I was, and that would fix it, right?

"Anyway, I survived that night, and there was always enough commotion going on around the base to keep those thoughts away, but I never told anybody about it. And now, I- I just can't be alone. I don't even care like what else happens, I just need somebody to be there if I'm gonna get any sleep."

"I understand." I bade Yuudachi follow me back to my bedroom, and told her to make herself comfortable on the bed. While she was busy with the bedclothes, I used the opportunity to open a closet and pull out the thickest futon in the inn, which I threw down next to the bed.

"Wait, you're not gonna sleep on the floor are you?" Yuudachi mumbled, her protest losing steam as she came down from the strain of confessing her situation.

"For tonight at least. We'll figure out something tomorrow. At the very least, I don't want to create a reason for Tropical Storm Tatsuta to come back."

"Hah!" Yuudachi bust out in giggles, and that was just about the best sound in the world for the moment.


End file.
